Confessions: This. That. & The other.

The story of her latest mistake...

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Thinking thoughts.

It gets worse right before bad, I guess. Thoughts flood your mind. You want to fall asleep thinking about someone so they’ll appear in your dreams. So that maybe, just by some strike of luck, it feels real again. You feel alive and in the moment… then you’re hit with the subconscious thought that this indeed is just a dream.

Every day it seems like things get better and sometimes they’re worse, then they get good again. Distraction is key. Work til you just can’t work anymore. I’ve realized that burying myself in work isn’t such a bad thing. I enhance my knowledge in things that I was unaware of, I study and I dissect problems and eventually learn to solve them.

Today, I felt my heart skip a beat. Not the good kind, but it felt, nonetheless; something my heart hadn’t done in a long time- and even if it was pain, at least it allowed me to acknowledge that the best is yet to come.

Can’t stop, won’t stop, have to keep fighting.

That said, goodnight, pretties.

-N*

Filed under love life heart feelings trust relationships relationship pain thestruggle happy happiness work fight fighting dream dreams

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I think I forgot how to forget.

I suppose there’s really no shortcut to forgetting someone. You just have to endure missing them every day until you don’t anymore… And until then, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on the horse and try again. No shame in that.

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The Dating Game.

The Dating Game

I’ve recently found myself in the position where I was quite frequently alone and I one day decided that I was going to pull myself out of the slump and move forward.

Now, as experience has taught me, moving on is never easy but sometimes it must be done. You’ve got to get up every day and tell yourself it’s time to want more for yourself; it’s time to let go of the image we have in our head that perfection exists.

People will fail you, people will disappoint you, and they will walk out on you. They’ll push you to your limits and cause you to reflect on the person you’ve become since being involved with them. You’ll look back at who you once were and question how you got to this point, and truth be told, we don’t always like what we see.

As time has passed, I’ve learned that being alone isn’t always bad. You learn to be independent and not rely on another person to make you happy… but then one day you wake up and wish you had someone to call and just hang out with.

I recently found myself wanting a companion to go out to dinner with, or to have drinks with and I decided I would take that step forward. I would agree to meet someone for drinks or dancing, perhaps a movie.

Dating isn’t as simple as people portrayed it to be. You can have a handful of friends of the opposite sex, you pick one to hang out with one night and then the next morning, you have two other people upset with you and throwing it in your face. Now, as far as I’m concerned, I’m not tied to a single person so I don’t see the harm in spending a few hours among friends. Not everyone sees it that way, but the way I see it is, if a man can talk to five women at the same time and claim they’re friends, why can’t a woman? Why must women be judged for doing the same thing? Why are there double standards when it comes to women?

At the end of the day, there’s only so much one can do. You reach a point where you’re just satisfied being alone because the date game is complicated. We all need to interact with others, but sometimes it’s just better to let things be.

Those are my convoluted thoughts for the night. Until next time…

Filed under date dating relationship relationships happy sad love life happiness quote quotes